PLAYGROUND RULES: Boundless or Boundaries?

So, blogging yesterday seems to have opened up the floodgates!

Driving down the road today, one or two of the bazillion fragmented thoughts flying through my brain took root and began forming into something I thought might actually be worth considering, so I thought I'd just start the brain drain here.  Why not?

This all started when the hubster called to let me know the "schedule" for the evening (we never have time to actually talk about things like this in the morning...morning conversations are for essential things like "because I SAID you HAVE to wear pants!" and "you just CAN'T have Dr. Pepper and chocolate for breakfast!" - and that's just the hubster and me, talking to each other!).  Anway, he asked me if I minded going solo with our youngest son tonight while he and the older one tended to their busy schedules.  So, I started trying to think of stuff to do with my youngest son, just the two of us. 

The first thing to pop in my head was to go to a playground somewhere.  He LOVES playgrounds!  Almost as much as he loves staying home and playing with his DSi or watching Ben10 DVDs (don't ask).

So, where to go?  My favorite is the "Blue Playground", which is located in our old neighborhood.  It's pretty.  It's safe.  We still know lots of the folks in that neighborhood.  It's appropriate for his age.  AND, most importantly, it is compact and has a BIG FENCE all the way around it, with a GATE to lock him in!  This means that I can take him in and just let him HAVE AT IT!  I can even take a seat on a bench and just watch, until I have to push him on the swing, or pick him up out of the mulch when he face plants.

                                               My oldest, on the "Blue Playground", age 2.

I love that fence and gate, and praise the person who had them put there.  It makes my playground experience so much nicer, and the young one loves the feeling of being able to run willy-nilly all over the place like a "big boy".

But then, that "other" playground popped into my head.  It's the "BIG Playground", the one at our local state park, and WOW!  Is it ever amazing!  Treehouses, slides, see-saws, & swings galore, and there's even a trail with little scenes from The Narnia Chronicles throughout!  If that playground had been there when I was a kid, I would have begged my parents to let me move in!

                                                My youngest at the "BIG Playground", age 4.

And something else special about this playground is that it's a "boundless playground".  It was designed to accommodate those with disabilities, and many wonderful folks went all out on the design and building of this beautiful addition to our community.  We love it, and are so grateful for it!

But, did I mention that, in creating such accessibility for everyone to this miraculous playground, a fence is nowhere to be found.  It is incredibly OPEN, and I mean OPEN...all the way around.

And, there are big woods close by.  And lots of cars and trucks driving through.  And a creek.  And strange people playing "frisbee golf" (whatever that is) in the lot next to it. 

                                            This is not a fence - it's a bridge, over the creek.

And, oh yeah, did I mention... THE LAKE!!!

Yes, there is a big ol' lake, just a few yard beyond this fabulous playground.   But, let's give thanks for the cars and trucks the kids would have to dodge first, before the lake would actually be a big threat to them.  Whew.

So, even though we love this playground, and the kids beg to go there often, it's not always my first choice.  First of all, I can't sit on my behind the entire time we're there.  In fact, I don't get to sit at all.  I have to follow little dude, and bigger dude, around constantly, and climb and run and jump and push and pull and see-saw and dig in the sand and have a second set of eyes out of the back of my head to make sure they are safe and sound the entire time we are there!  It's stressful!  I can't stand the thought of them getting lost or hurt, or even worse, there! 

You know, the kids aren't concerned about the sidewalk that could trip them up, the creek that probably has snakes, the woods that are big and dark, the strangers - not even gonna think about that one, or the lake - again, can't think about it,...they don't know about these things.  They can't see what is right outside the boundaries of their "boundless playground".  But I do see it, and I am concerned.  I want to prevent anything bad from happening to them.  I want them to enjoy this special place without having to worry about anything.

                                                   "BIG Playground" Treehouse...Cool!

And it seems that more accidents happen there - falling off equipment, skinned knees from falling on the sidewalks, other kids - bigger kids- pushing and knocking each other around to get to go "first", parents shouting with not-so-appropriate language, falling in the creek, even bee stings!

So, I have to make some major rules when we go to the "BIG Park":  Don't get out of my sight.  Don't talk to strangers.  Don't run.  Don't throw sand.  Don't eat sand.  Don't, don't, don't...

Yep, I'm saving the trip to "BIG Park" for a time when the hubster can accompany us and help out!  The "Blue Park" sounds just fine right now, thankyouverymuch.

So, in my brain, as all of these thoughts flew through within a span of about 3 seconds today, the thought caught root that all of this kind of relates to my own life...and how tempting it is to beg the Lord to let me live "without boundaries", to be able to run and jump and skip through my life with abandon, playing to my heart's content, doing those amazing things that bring me such happiness, flitting from swing to slide to see-saw...it's what I WANT!  I deserve that, right?  Boundless.  No boundaries.  Ah, freedom!  Right???

                                            Doe River Gorge - Me, flying free, on the "Sweet
                                            Chariot", swinging from the trees....(2011)

Or is it?  Is it really freedom? 

When I think about it, a life without boundaries is kind of, well, scary.  There are lots of "bad things" out there that can "get in" when there are no boundaries.  And, sometimes, well...I might step out away from the good things on my own, going just a little "too far"...into danger.

And sometimes, going too far, I find myself drowning...in the unknown...and it gets scarier, and deeper, the further I go.

I've always believed that two of the most precious gifts I can give my children are unconditional love and SECURITY.  If a child feels SECURE in the love and safety of their parents, they feel free to be themselves, and to take the risks necessary in life to grow and become the person they are supposed to be.

I once heard someone say that a child needs rules and boundaries in order to feel secure.  If a two year old believes that he/she is the one in control, and that there are no boundaries, no rules, then yes, of course, that child will "act out"...because he/she is SCARED!  I mean, think about it!  This child is thinking, "Wow, if I can control this big person, then WHO is going to protect ME here???!!!" 

That's a scary thought for a two year old!

If a child is insecure, scared, and/or feeling unloved, he/she will spend their lives trying to find that love and security.  And often, unfortunately, this leads to actions that are hazardous to themselves as they try to please others, and give in to societal pressures and expectations to prove that they are "worthy".  And, without rules, without boundaries, they run willy-nilly into trouble, and wind up getting hurt.  Really hurt.  Sometimes irreversably hurt.

I want my children to KNOW that they are loved, that they are worthy of love, unconditionally.

I was blessed, and am still blessed, to have experienced this type of love and security from my own parents.   Yes, there were those darn rules that my parents had.  I didn't always like them.  I rebelled from time to time.  BUT, they were for my own good, and they kept me from lots of harm, I know now.  And, I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my parents loved me because they cared enough to do the tough thing, and "fence me in" sometimes - even when I was begging, and fighting them every step of the way, to run free.  But their rules kept me from so much harm that I surely would have brought upon myself, and in turn, allowed me to grow into the person I am today (tadaaa!), with only a few scars and bruises to show for it along the way.

It's the same way in my relationship with God.  He has rules, ya know.  I don't always like them.  Sometimes, I just want to run free!  I just want to chase my own desires!  Hey - I'm not hurting anybody else, right?  Personal freedom at all costs, right?  Let's run, let's go, get out of my way y'all!

Sometimes I fight Him!  Sometimes I beg him to let me go, or to just give me what I want.  I don't want his rules, his boundaries, his fences!

But sometimes, I don't see what I'm running into.  The sidewalk.  The creek.  The woods.  The strangers.  The lake.  The unknown....

Oh yeah, that's kind of scary.  I didn't see that coming.  I didn't see how the choice to spend my money that way could lead to problems, to great loss, great embarassment.  And, oh, wow...I didn't see how choosing that lifestyle could hurt the ones I really love.  And, um, oops...I didn't see that stranger there...yeah, that one - the one that looked so nice and promised me great things - before stealing my innocence...

It's funny, how I can't see what's ahead, what's "out there".  But the One looking out for me does.  He sees all, knows all.  Just like I can look out and see the dangers - the cars, the strangers, the lake - for my own children,  the Lord sees those dangers lying ahead for me, and wants to keep me from them. 

And yet, he wants me to have freedom, within His boundaries, to run and explore and play and enjoy all that He has provided for me.  So, I need to appreciate that, and enjoy the freedom He gives me, without the need to run "willy-nilly" straight into harm's way.

That is true freedom.  That is what we call "freedom in Christ"!   It is freedom that has boundaries that provide the love and security we need to really live and explore and become the ones that He has created us to be!

I love this freedom.  But I love it within some boundaries...and the boundaries I choose are the boundaries of God...His rules, His perfect law.  His boundaries are there for my "good", for my protection, so that I may enjoy the limitlessness of His love and blessings for me.  And, even more, His freedom allows me to freely love others, and offer myself to them in love and friendship and security, which comes from HIM. 

And that's what I call "freely living".

"For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don't use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love."  -Galatians 5:13

Love,
Tron :)

What The World Needs Now, Is....?

Yes, it's been a loooooong time since I last posted, I know.  Sorry!

It's not that I haven't had anything to say...it's the opposite.  My problem is that my thoughts are all over the place, and I keep thinking that this blog is the spot where I need to FOCUS on something spectacular and important that will draw the masses back here each and every day so that I can have a life like The Pioneer Woman.

And yet, it's been ages since I posted because I can't pull my act together!  Imagine that.  And every day I deal with the stress I put upon myself that "today is the day that I'm going to pull this blog thing together and make it happen", and then end up disappointing myself, once again, by the end of the day when I realize the blog hasn't written itself.

So, what's different about today, you ask?  Have I finally found the key?  The missing link?  The glue that pulls the corners of my crazy mind all together into one mass that has some semblance of a cohesive thought process?

No.  I haven't found that key, link, or glue.  What I found, though, was a spark...something sparked me, and it was enough to get me to the keyboard to share one thing with you that is so meaningful, so profound, so IMPORTANT, that it just could not be put off.

The spark...was an attack, on me, and on some others I love.  I'm not sure that the person even knows that he/she attacked me, or my loved ones, personally.  But this person did something harmful - something that he/she does not even realize the full effects of the harm done.  And, I am quite sure this person did this out of complete ignorance, not bothering to do the research that should have been done before diving into maliciously attacking others...others of whom he/she has NO understanding.

And, in so doing, this person afforded others NO GRACE.

GRACE is, according to one definition, the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful.

Imagine, is it so hard to hold your tongue long enough to take a moment, a mere moment, to consider the others whom your words may affect?

Take it a step further:  Imagine if, in that moment, you realize that your words could actually harm another, physically, emotionally, or in any way.  Is it so hard to hold back those words completely?

And now, let's take it one step even further:  Imagine that you actually put yourself in that person's shoes, and truly considered that their circumstances are beyond what your mind could even conceivably imagine.  Really, imagine that you, from your world, cannot even imagine the world that this person has been born into because your person hood, your backgrounds, your surroundings, your wounds, your scars, are so vastly different.  Would it be so hard to grant this person the favor of your pardon for their failings?  Or to even go that extra mile and extend them a reprieve, forgiveness, and even, dare I say it, understanding?  Here are a few other words used to define Grace that would fit in this instance:  goodwill, mercy, clemency, exemption, even indulgence.

Yes, what this world needs now is GRACE, sweet GRACE!  Is that too much to ask?  In a world in which we are so quick to become offended, so rushed to judgement, so eager to condemn and convict and lock up and throw away the key, GRACE may just be too much to ask of one another...it seems.

And yet, there is One who freely gave it, who sacrificed it all for our sake, though we have done and can do nothing to earn it.

Truly, we need DIVINE GRACE, which is truly something we humans do not deserve, and yet have been given freely.   And all we have to do is accept it.  Believe it.

And so, though this person has not afforded GRACE to me, or to my loved ones affected by this, I am going to grant them GRACE.  I am not going to respond to this person.  I am not even going to attempt to mount a defense.  Instead, I am going to pray for this person.  Love this person.  And, yes, even extend the hand of friendship to this person.  This person may never even realize what he/she has done, and honestly, it is my prayer that this person finds out the TRUE meaning of GRACE.

And please know, I am not deserving of ANY praise for this, for it is ONLY by the Power of the Holy Spirit's work in my life that I am able to do this.

I have experienced GRACE in my own life.  If ever one deserved to die for wronging another, I do, for I have sinned against the very one who died for me.  And yet, He gave me GRACE, yes, LOVE.  And I love, because He first loved me.  AMAZING GRACE!!!