Happy New Year! So, how did you ring it in? We rang in the New Year with a bang – taking our two year old to the Emergency Room, screaming with a painful ear infection! Yippee! It’s okay, at least we got off to a great start with our friends there…they know us by sight at this point. And, he's doing fine now, thankfully.
So, resolutions! Ugh! Whether or not you are one who makes resolutions, it is certainly one way to separate us all into two neat little categories. Into which category do you fall? Are you one of those who has your resolutions set well before Christmas and it’s just a countdown to January 1st , when you can actually start documenting your success in keeping them all, checking them, one by one, off your carefully printed, laminated list? Or, do you fall into the group which laments that there is even such a thing as a resolution? Maybe, like Paula Deen, you refuse to even make them because you know you won’t keep them and the thought of making one just adds stress? Is that you?
I must confess, I have been in both categories over the years. I have always been an “achievement-oriented” person, one who sets goals and strives to achieve them, usually with a modicum of success. Some years, when I feel more confident than others, I am extremely resolute and revel in making goals to achieve. And, I have to admit, many times this lands me in a sea of depression when I realize, less than a week into the new year, that I have not managed to keep even one of them. Other years, I have lacked confidence in my ability to achieve right off the bat, and have not even bothered with the whole process. And, usually, when the latter is the case, I become even more depressed, eventually, at the realization that I have such a low opinion of myself.
This year, however, I find myself in a completely new realm, one that I have yet to fully understand or define. I have been feeling particularly optimistic these days, and with that optimism comes a desire to achieve more. The other day I said to my husband, “I want to do something amazing in 2011! This is the year I really want to do something fantastic with my life,” to which, my husband gave me a truly bewildered look, and replied, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!!!”
It took me a moment to figure out his response. But then, it hit me. The year “2010” was an absolute watershed year for me. Had I not realized that?
Let’s take a quick look back at just some of the events and achievements it held for me: I had gastric bypass surgery and lost over 170 pounds in less than a year, completely changing my life forever; I have a wonderfully blessed life being privileged to stay home and raise my two sons; I have been able to go back to work part-time in student ministry, which I adore; I am privileged to serve on the Board of Directors of an amazing, growing ministry within my community; and, last, but not least, I have been honored to be selected as a part of the 2011 Walt Disney World Moms Panel! As my sister-in-law put it into perspective for me, if the WDWMP was the only thing that had happened in 2010, that would have been over the top enough for most people!
After this realization took hold of me, I laughed out loud! The Lord had really just put it all into perspective for me. I have always been one to plan. I love being an organizer – of events, vacations (especial vacations to Walt Disney World!), weddings, parties, and my days. I’m a “nerd with a book”, carrying my planner/calendar around everywhere I go (still resistant to using my smart phone to do it ALL for me, yet). However, through the trials of the past few years, the Lord has been teaching me to live one day at a time, to lean on Him, asking for guidance and direction from Him, and then being patient enough to wait on Him for clarity and answers. I have realized that it is truly difficult, sometimes, to discern His will. Just because something seems to be the “right thing” to do when it first presents itself does not always mean it is the right thing to do, according to God’s plan. However, sometimes the drive to achieve super-cedes my patience level, and I have been unwilling to wait upon the Lord for His true guidance. Or, I often just assume that I already have His “go ahead” permission, without truly knowing.
Currently, I am reading the book,
"Counterfeit Gods"*, by Timothy Keller. The subtitle is
“The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope That Matters”. This book underscores how individuals and society try to find fulfillment in false hopes. For me, this really hit home, very personally, when I read pages 73 – 74:
“Achievement is the alcohol of our time,” says Mary Bell, a counselor who works with high-level executives. She goes on: “These days, the best people don’t abuse alcohol. They abuse their lives…You’re successful, so good things happen. You complete a project, and you feel dynamite. That feeling doesn’t last forever, and you slide back to normal. You think, “I’ve got to start a new project” – which is still normal. But you love the feeling of euphoria, so you’ve got to have it again. The problem is, you can’t stay on that high. Say you’re working on a deal and it doesn’t get approved. Your self-esteem is on the line, because you’ve been gathering your self-worth externally. Eventually, in this cycle, you drop to the pain level more and more often. The highs don’t seem quite so high. You may win a deal that’s even bigger than the one that got away, but somehow that deal doesn’t take you to euphoria. Next time, you don’t even get back to normal, because you’re so desperate about clinching the next deal….An “achievement addict” is no different from any other kind of addict.” In the end [says Keller], achievement can’t really answer the big questions – Who am I? What am I really worth? How do I face death? It gives the initial illusion of an answer. There is an initial rush of happiness that leads us to believe we have arrived, been included, been accepted, and proved ourselves. However, the satisfaction quickly fades.”As I read this, I realized that, in my desire to constantly achieve, or in my own words, “do something amazing with my life”, I am actually making success, and the false sense of security it brings, an idol (as Keller puts it). I know, as a Christian, that only God can provide this security. What I am REALLY pursuing is God, not just "success", and not just "security". I am in pursuit of God, Himself - and realizing this, truly knowing this, changes everything! It is my prayer that I can apply these changes to the way I live my life.
So, what does this mean? How do I ‘ring in this new year’ now? Does all this mean I need to make resolutions, or not? I don’t think that it matters whether or not I am the “type of person” who makes resolutions or not. What matters is whether or not I am the type of person who will make changes once I have realized what a great debt has been paid for my life.
So, I do have a “New Year Resolution”, but it has changed from my desire to just “do something amazing or fantastic with my life”. It is much simplified. My resolution is to simply pursue the Lord: to honor Him with my whole life, to ask for wisdom and discernment in all decisions, to learn more deeply to be patient and wait upon the Lord, to be more thankful, and to find contentment with my circumstances, whatever they may be.
A wonderful, powerful scripture from the Bible says this all very well for me. From Philippians 4:11-13:
“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”I believe that 2011 is going to be all that God has promised life to be. He hasn’t promised us a life without trouble, but He has promised us help in those times of trouble.
Psalm 46:1: God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. May the Lord bless you and keep you in this New Year!
Love,
"Tron"
*
Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope That Matters, by Timothy Keller. Published by Dutton, a member of Penguin Group (U.S.A.) Inc. October 2009.
