Another year......wiser???

Wiser? I don't know about that. I am definitely another year older, however, and certainly feeling it on most days!
It has been a wild year... we welcomed a new addition to the family this year, and my second pregnancy was a doozy, just like my first. I have this fun little condition called "hyperemesis gravidarum" with my pregnancies, which is a fancy way of saying that I vomit constantly, day and night and end up dehydrated and hospitalized over and over and need medication and IVs for 9 months....but I digress. HG is for another day, another blog! I have to offer some praise here, because the Lord got me through it and we are blessed to have our second baby boy. What a wonderful blessing it is! God is so good, and He is always faithful to see us through the difficult times! And isn't it amazing, how he uses these times to teach us so many new and pertinent lessons? Again, another day, another blog for that one!
Now, I have a 5-year-old and a 4-month-old, and find myself experiencing severe insomnia as I pass my 39th birthday (which was yesterday, 7-27). Breastfeeding has taken its toll on me this time. My "circadian rhythms", which have always been wacky, have gone completely haywire! I am pretty much physically and mentally exhausted, but again, God is getting me through these sleep-deprived days and nights, and He is doing it in a way that still allows me to appreciate the wonders and sweetness of it all. There is nothing in this world that compares to having young ones...especially when you are able to live in the moment and give thanks for it all as it happens!!! The days and years go by so fast, and nothing causes you to realize this more than your children....and your birthdays....
Yesterday, Sunday, July 27th, was my 39th birthday, and throughout the day I was reminded so many times how life is flying by. I have nieces and nephews who are adults now, and got to visit with two beautiful nieces today who are quickly approaching that era, full steam ahead. I realize that sometimes I am able to fool myself into believing I'm still young because of the fact that I have such young babies. But the truth is, I am old enough to have an "adult child" of my own! Thankfully, children do keep you young - at heart, anyway!
At my parents' home tonight, we watched a show on my beloved Travel Channel about the Grand Canyon. My dad told us, "You should make SURE you go see that one day!" I sat there thinking, "well of COURSE I'll see it... in fact I plan to go white water rafting down the Colorado River one day....", when all of the sudden, it hit me. Hard. I may not live long enough to do that! There are so many things that I want to do, and places that I want to go, and people that I want to meet, and goals that I want to accomplish, and sunsets that I want to chase......and now, I'm on the brink of 40! Will there be time to do it all??? Have I put off doing too many of those things I have planned to do all my life for too long now? Will my health hold out so that I'm even ABLE to do the things I want to do?
I have to say that I have never thought about my life in these terms before tonight, and it was quite an eye-opener. Of course, none of us has any way of knowing how many sunsets we have left to chase. Only God knows that. Sometimes I wish that I could know exactly how many I have left, then I'd be able to plot my course and do the things that I really want to do! And then, I think, I'd probably live out my days a little differently as well, in how I relate to others. I believe that I would feel much more urgency for openly loving others - caring for them in special ways, saying the tender things that I often think, but hold back saying for fear of sounding crazy or sappy, sharing the wonders of LIFE with them, and most importantly, sharing the love of CHRIST with them, and the message of the Gospel, so that they could know the REASON for my HOPE, and accept Jesus as their personal savior!
But then, isn't that how I should be living out my life everyday, anyway??!!!? My prayer, as I enter into the 40th year of my life, is that God will grant me the courage, the strength, the fortitude, the ability, the wisdom, and the desire to live every day with that sense of "urgency", in a way that will take me into each sunset with the full hope and expectation of hearing those words I long to hear on that great day, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"
Come chase the sunset with me, my friends! Be blessed! Tron :)